“Modern Love? The full time mission is for acquiring and sharing Christ-like love of the nonromantic variety.  You knew that when you volunteered and agreed to pay your own way.”

“All I Wanted Was a Hug,” was the title of the New York Times Modern Love article that had my eyes rolling back into their sockets. The writer’s point was that as a full time missionary for Christ’s restored gospel in Taiwan, she felt isolated and misunderstood and would have found solace in the arms of her favorite male missionary, but the unjust “system,” as she called it, forbade it. I was really annoyed with this most recent “expose” of Mormon Missions because it completely missed the point.  There seems to be a great deal of attention on what missionaries can’t do. But “the system” or the guidelines for operating missions around the world is designed to enable the missionaries to focus as much as possible on their purpose, which is to “Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end” (Preach My Gospel, p 1).

As a result of placing my heart, hopes, thoughts and determination in fulfilling this purpose as a full time missionary myself,  I was able to experience heightened spiritual power.  The Holy Ghost moved through me in a way I could not have anticipated.  To cheapen it with a pop culture comparison, it was like becoming a Yoda in terms of attunement with “the force.” All around me, I could understand and feel how “all things denote there is a God” (Alma 30:44) and as I drew closer to Christ, I felt a new and deepened grief for the enslavement of sin on mankind.  There were times when the Holy Ghost pressed so heavily, but gently on my mind and heart that I knew with clarity the specific message the Lord wanted me to say to one of His children. Then, I would use my own words to convey God’s words. What an incredible privilege.

If I wasn’t praying in my heart, I was testifying of God’s goodness or talking with my partner, called a “companion,” about some gospel principle or visiting someone with the purpose of lifting them up and drawing them closer to Christ. In short, so what if I had to put my personal romantic pursuits on hold?  Now that I’m in full swing in that season of my life, it occupies more of my prime thinking time than would be ideal for me. (I’d really like to make  it a priority without it sucking up valuable brain-space. Is that possible?)  If I was thinking about seeking male affection, it would have undermined my ability to give so much of my mind and heart to the benefit of others and I would have missed out on the heaven-meets-earth experience of becoming an instrument in the hand of God as I did. I wouldn’t have been able to receive the message over the thoughts of “Does he like me? So, when he said this to me, did he mean this or this…Am I reading too much into this?  He mentioned his ex girlfriend. Is he not over her?..This missionary wardrobe is not exactly catch-a-man attire…” And a thousand other fluffy and unimportant thoughts that go along with the dating process. Receiving revelation from God, takes mastery of the mind and heart and offering both to God with dedicated and consistent effort. After a space of work and then during more work, He then pours out His grace.  Giving up “Modern Love” for a brief time is a wise part of “the system” for sharing the gospel when young missionaries are still learning how to speak the language of the Spirit.

For 18 months, as a full time missionary, I did not date, I talked to my family on the phone twice a year and wrote home once a week, I didn’t read the news or consume any other media, I slept from 10:30pm to 6:30 am where I would then exercise, shower, dress, study the scriptures personally for one hour, and then with my companion for one hour. Then we went out into the world 24/7 from 10 am to 9 pm (with an hour for lunch and an hour for dinner) to share the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  As a result of this work, focus and turning my mind and heart over to God as much as I possibly could, He blessed me with a greater portion of His grace. I developed an impulse for charity and compassion that I still maintain now.

I knew I was giving up affection from the men-folk in order to give everything to the purpose of bringing others unto Christ. Every missionary knows that. The temporary delay was worth it to teach me the level of spirituality that is possible to be attained in this life. Now my struggle is still enjoying that degree of the companionship of the Holy Ghost while I have life’s distractions of making a living, dating and suffering the bombardment of the images of the world that missionaries can escape thanks to “the system.”

The Grinch’s Heart Grew 3 Sizes Over Many Days. The Reformation of My Compassion

As a missionary,  I corresponded with Heavenly Father in many sincere prayers to fill me with His love (charity),  which He bestows upon all who are true followers of His Son Jesus Christ (Moroni 7:48).  He definitely answered those prayers in a difficult, but wonderful way. When we pray for blessings, God provides us with the opportunity to grow so we can receive the blessing.  This includes making us aware of our weaknesses so we can fix them with His help, enabled by His grace.

I trace the beginning of this particular weakness to seventh grade, though I suspect my personality traits, which I possessed even in the premortal existence, also contribute. Middle School was horrible for everyone, wasn’t it? It was definitely horrible for me. My parents almost divorced when I was in seventh grade and I was not emotionally mature enough to assess the situation and draw anything good out of it.  I was frustrated, very angry and embarrassed that everyone knew. (In my mind they did anyway, couldn’t they see the neon sign hanging over me?) I was also scared of the life ahead where I was going to have to choose which parent to live with.

The way I ended up handling it was becoming emotionally unavailable. That’s right, I decided not to feel.  I’d already sowed the seeds for this the previous year when my young aunt died in a tragic car accident and to deal with the pain I decided not to feel. I remember my mindset at her funeral as I prevented any tears. But the sad part is by choosing to cope in this way, I robbed myself of loving deeply for my latter growing up years.  I would still get excited over volleyball and softball games, but I wouldn’t tell my family I loved them and if anyone wanted to get close to me, it was usually after their effort and patience, not mine. (Poor guys who dated me in my early college days. Can you say an ice princess?)  I used to admire how compassionate my Mom was and wondered how that virtue missed me. I had no idea I lacked compassion because of my own choice.

Then I became a missionary.  As I was praying to receive charity, the pure love of Christ, for all of God’s children, I started to receive it. Only it was painful.  Years of blocking off my heart made it difficult to feel love so deeply. When people would listen to our message for a time and then ask us never to come back because they were afraid of what the neighbors would think if they “became Mormon,” it cut me deeply.  “Shouldn’t they care more about what God thinks?” I would ask myself as I struggled with the grief. They didn’t know what they were rejecting. In a way, I felt a bit of Christ’s disappointment as I was beginning to love as He did. Other experiences deepened my capacity to love, but also sharpened pain’s bitterness.  I wonder how God does it. He perfectly loves with a depth that is unimaginable, which means His capacity to feel pain is horrendously poignant.

As I willingly, received the gift of charity He was extending to me as a result of my sincere and frequent petitions for it, I realized one day I was like Dr. Seuss’ the Grinch:

“And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten*Grinches, plus two!”

The Grinch was learning the meaning of Christmas, but I was learning the meaning of Him whose day Christmas is.  I received from the hand of my God His gifts of charity and compassion as I sought them and found the strength of the merciful God of Israel. As mentioned before, I developed an impulse for charity and compassion that I still now retain. But these gifts have short shelf life.  A quality relationship with God and receiving specific gifts from His hand requires constant nurturing through prayer, scripture study, service, devotion and effort.  I learned these patterns best as a missionary and I apply them in my life now. What a privilege it was to focus 100% on building His kingdom for that special and short time in my life. And with those experiences, I move forward with a life full of blessings, frequently drawing upon and expanding what the Holy Ghost taught me as a missionary.  I have yet to experience “Modern Love” that compares, but I expect that eternal love will.;)

(Learning this was a turning point for me. I now believe emotional health influences our ability to enjoy spirituality or the fruits of the Spirit because God uses the mind and heart to communicate with us (Doctrine & Covenants 8:2-3).  If someone is suffering from depression or hang ups like I had, it may be difficult to feel and understand messages from the Holy Ghost.  Since my full time mission experience, I’ve made great efforts to become emotionally literate and it has greatly influenced my quality of life. I recommend plumbing out your subconscious with the Lord. By doing so, I become transparent before Him and more like His Son as I offer to willingly and  painfully work on my weaknesses by His grace.)

Mormon Missionary Message: Christ’s New Testament Church is Restored

“So, what is it that “Mormon Missionaries” share?” Representatives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints bring a message of full access to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  His gospel is the formula for us to overcome the effects of the Fall of Adam. His gospel includes entering into a covenant relationship with Him to fully receive the blessings of His Atonement, namely faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins by one with God’s authority and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and continuing faithful by living God’s commandments. The crowning ordinance of the gospel of Jesus Christ is for the family to be sealed by His authority in His Holy Temple, so they will continue as a family unit in the next life.

Christ established a Church during His mortal ministry, but it was lost after His ascension into heaven and with the deaths of Peter, the Prophet in Christ’s physical absence, and the Apostles. Some people still continued to believe in Christ and what would become the Bible was eventually canonized over 300 years later, but the actual New Testament Church with living revelation through Apostles and Prophets, pure doctrine and the authority to administer ordinances, which would enter the willing into a covenant relationship with God was no longer on the Earth.  The unique message of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that Christ has restored His New Testament Church to the Earth with correct doctrine, living Prophets and Apostles and the authority to administer ordinances. Other religious practices have elements and different degrees of truth and are preparatory to bring Heavenly Father’s children to Christ’s Church with the authority to perform the ordinances of the gospel and enable Father’s children to enter into a covenant with Him.

During New Testament times, Christ gave the mandate to, “Go ye therefore, teaching all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost (Matthew 28:19). He has given similar direction in our time in His restored Church, hence the “Mormon Missionaries” knocking at your door.

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Tags: "Mormon Church", missionaries, Mormon Elders, Mormon Missions

While riding into work today on the metro, I was gathering my thoughts about what I should include in my talk on missionary work this Sunday.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a very democratic approach for Sunday sermon material.  Instead of a trained preacher addressing the group, members from the congregation are asked by Church leadership to prepare talks on assigned gospel topics. I’m sure there’s some scripture I’m not looking up about how we each are the others’ teacher.

When I grow weary of something, I usually try to lighten my load with humor.  I’m my own best audience. I think I’m hilarious.  So, I was amusing myself with some parallels with dating and missionary work when I remembered a talk I gave in Church almost 2 years ago.  I was in a congregation (known as a “ward”) completely comprised of single students at Brigham Young University.  This talk includes a large section on dating.

Sometimes I push myself to exercise courage. Once I decide to do something, even if it makes me uncomfortable, I just move forward.  In hindsight, I think this was one of the those occasions.  What was I thinking???? Maybe it helped someone and maybe it will help you.  It for sure helped me. In the mean time, my courage muscles are getting some exercise.  Heaven knows you need a lot of courage in dating.

You can read my somewhat “gutsy” (as one person called me on a particular occasion that required a lot of courage) talk entitled “Matters of the Mind and Heart.”

It’s formatted for myself as the audience, arranged and colored so I can present it as a talk instead of reading it word for word. May the format not offend you and may you become the greatest advisor to your single friends.

I expect a note of gratitude from you when this revolutionizes your world.:)

My best wishes to you and yours!

MollyMormon

PS  I was moved to post this talk tonight after watching this video.  It should have made me laugh, but it made me really sad.  Dating is really difficult and gets more difficult as you get older and the dating pool shrinks.  I need reminders to exercise faith sometimes.

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“The Life of George Washington Within the Context of the Plan of Salvation”

FHE for a late Presidents’ Day in the DC 2nd ward

Powerpoint

Outline

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Preface

“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample  them under their feet and turn again and rend you” (Matt 7:6). This scripture has frequently come to my mind as I’ve been deciding how to write blog posts.  Faith, its inception and expansion, is sacred and deeply personal.  In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed the Mormon Church by the public, the practice is to keep sacred things sacred by not talking too casually about them in trusted company or by only sharing such things with people who will in the very least not degrade or despise them. The universal (on one side of the digital divide, anyway) reach of the Internet brings in unique dynamics in keeping sacred things sacred.  Do faithful Mormons not post about anything sacred because of who may respond from this general audience?

All that is a lead up for me to say I’ve thoughtfully considered how specific to be in this particular post. Perhaps my immediate detachment from personally facing a very general audience contributes to my audacity, but candor is usually my preference anyway.  Therefore, I’m accepting that I am throwing my personal sacred things to some people who may act like “dogs” or “swine,” but my greater purpose is to provide a case that others can use as precedent for their own spiritual growth. “God is no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34) . What He has done for me, He is willing and anxious to do for all of His children, if they are willing to pay the price.

Now, allow me to share with you candidly, but not completely, the price I have paid and that I am continuing to pay to know God (John 17:3).  Perhaps you too will take first steps or be renewed in efforts to know Him better.

Self Honesty

Self honesty is something that has been part of my personal make up for as long as I can remember.  After being honest with myself, this beneficial self-centeredness led me to honesty with the Lord and then with others. Like every strength, it has probably also been my worst weakness. As a teenager, I didn’t want people to “sugarcoat” things for me and I in turn didn’t want to sugarcoat it for others. I wanted it direct and straight in both directions. Because of this, in my immaturity, I not infrequently delivered offense.  Now, as I’ve matured, I’ve often been accused of being “diplomatic,” which is my more kind approach to still being honest and not betraying myself while still being courteous of others’ feelings.

I believe it was this trait that led me to early spiritual exploration and commitment.

During high school, I was attending “seminary”, which was a 6:00 am hour long scripture study class before school.  Also at that time, one of my favorite things to do was to have scriptural talks with my Dad; as a result, I tended to be more familiar with the scriptures than my peers. This led me to frequent religious discussions at school where I was defaulted as some kind of authority. After a while, I began to be uncomfortable. I believed the things I was saying, but I didn’t know they were true.  I feared I was being dishonest with myself and misleading others by confidently sharing things that I only just believed.

As if inherently, I knew there was a God and I knew His Son Jesus Christ came into the world to meet the Universe’s demand of justice and offer mercy to those who would accept Him. I believe this was the result of many many lessons in my home and at Church where I learned these truths. The Holy Spirit had confirmed this reality to me in a subtle, gradual and undetectable way.  What made me so uncomfortable was the claim that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the Lord’s restored New Testament Church on the earth in our time.  I was worried I believed this only because my parents had taught it to me.  After some time of thinking it over, I decided I needed to investigate this for myself. I believed through prayer and “doing my homework” God would help me find His Church.

I rejected the mainstream Christian belief that the “church” today is all the believers in Christ in various churches across the earth (a reference based on 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 from what I could tell). Though I by no means discounted their faith in the Savior, I didn’t believe this aligned with how Christ set up His Church during His mortal ministry. Further, it seemed contrary to God’s nature to me to have a “church” that conflicted on so many points of basic doctrine as did Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists, Nondenominationals and other Christian churches.  I believed God must have an accurate communication of His doctrine in at least one of the many churches on earth. Hence, I believed that God’s Church was  on the earth.  Even if it broke my parents’ hearts I was going to find it and unite myself with it. At fifteen years old, I had to know and I was willing to do the work so that I could know. Once I knew, I intended to be true to that knowledge for the rest of my life.

The Price for Personal Revelation: Doing My Homework

Because I knew there was a God and  His Son Jesus Christ was the Savior of the world, which all these churches taught, and they all believed the Bible, though there were many translations, I focused my efforts on the Book of Mormon because it set apart the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from all the other Christian churches. I started reading it intently and asking God to help me know if His hand was involved in bringing it to the public. I figured it was either/or. It was brought forth by the gift and power of God or it wasn’t.  If it was, it was evidence that God had restored His New Testament Church to the earth and it was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If it wasn’t, it was a fraud and it would be eliminated from the possible ranks of being Christ’s Church on the earth and I would have more searching to do.  If the latter was the case, I would view its members as very nice, but unfortunately misguided people.

Over the course of several months, knowing how God felt about the Book of Mormon constantly consumed my discretionary thoughts.  If I wasn’t focusing on school work or whatever sport I was playing, I was pondering what I had read in the Book of Mormon. Reading about Abinadi (A-ben-a-die) became my favorite to a point.  I’d previously read how Lehi brought his family out of Jerusalem before its destruction during the time of Jeremiah and they brought with them the practice of the Law of Moses.  I liked how the wicked king arrested Abinadi for preaching of Christ and that the wicked king’s court had perverted the Law of Moses, which purpose was to point the minds and hearts of the people to Christ.  I liked how Abinadi’s death seemed inevitable, but he boldly taught the corrupt court about the mercy found in Jesus Christ.  I felt my own faith in Christ strengthening. Other stories of faith-filled people strengthened my faith. Then ultimately, I came to the climax of the Book of Mormon where the resurrected Jesus Christ appeared to the ancient American Christians, recorded in 3 Nephi 11.They knew He would be born near Jerusalem, the land from which their forefathers had come and He finally came to them!  I was rejoicing with those in the record as I read.  I loved reading how He blessed the children individually (3 Nephi 17). This Christ was the same Jesus Christ who I’d come to know for myself personally, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

Personal Revelation: The Process and the WOW

By the time I came to the closing pages of the Book of Mormon, I believed that book was of God because of the Holy Spirit which came to stay with me as I hungrily read and pondered the content of its pages and because of the expanded faith I then enjoyed.  But, could I say that I knew?  Though I felt like I’d been blessed, I only believed it strongly. I still could not say that I knew.

In the closing pages of the Book of Mormon, the last prophet to write in the record, Moroni, (More-ron-eye) describes a formula for receiving personal revelation. If when I “received these things” meaning the Book of Mormon, if I would 1. ask God 2. with a sincere heart 3. real intent (meaning willing to act on the answer) 4. having faith in Christ, He would “manifest the truth of it unto [me] by the power of the Holy Ghost” (Moroni 10:4). Check, check, check and check. So what else should I do, just wait?  I continued to ask God, urgently. I wanted, no I needed to know.

Then WOW. One night still at fifteen years old, while I was on my knees, again praying that He could please help me to know that the Book of Mormon was sent from Him, I felt my thoughts quickly enlighten and then it was as if someone had poured a pitcher of warm water over the crown of my head flowing to every part of my body all the way down to my toes.  I don’t have words to accurately represent it, but it felt like liquid love or joy filling my body completely. I’m not sure how long this went on until I suddenly became scared. I knew Satan was a great deceiver and I worried at this cross-roads moment for me, he would deceive me if he could. But this was different from a false masquerade 1 Corinthians 11:14. I had the idea come to me that Satan could pretend to be an angel of light, but he could not create peace, which is what I was feeling throughout my body. Further, I thought it was contrary to Satan’s nature and mission to strengthen me in my resolve to live for Jesus Christ and that is just what this experience was doing.  It was as if my nature was changing.  I no longer had a desire to sin, but I wanted to live as purely and as faithfully as I possibly could.  God had made me a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17) and in the process had helped me to know His New Testament Church was restored in my time.  Ends up, I was already a part of  it. The Book of Mormon, which He brought forth through a modern prophet was evidence of this message of a restoration.

I believe this instance was what the scriptures call “baptism of fire” which follows baptism by immersion for the remission of sins by one with authority and the ordinance of laying of hands to confer the gift of the Holy Ghost. I received these ordinances when I was eight years old and seven years later my baptism of fire occurred after much petition. Many, I may dare say most, do not have a single event for their baptism of fire, but an undetectable gradual process (3 Nephi 920). I believe because God knew I would best benefit from a direct and straightforward answer and because I petitioned Him so much for it, He worked with in a way that best fit my personality and needs. He knows me so well. Also, I believe God is sparing with such blessings because it suddenly made me accountable to live according to the knowledge He gave me. That’s why, I believe, such experiences require relentless and urgent imploring. I believe that God will do the same for ANYONE who similarly seeks after Him.  What spiritual experiences have you sought by the hand of the Lord?  Do you want similar kinds of experiences so that you can know God?

Earnest of the Spirit

“[God] hath also sealed us and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts” (2 Corinthians 1:22).  In legal terms, an earnest payment is a large sum a purchaser offers to demonstrate a commitment. The purchaser completes the payment with a much larger amount at a following date.  I’m unsure if this is how Paul was using this term, but it fits well for my experience.  I believe that God was showing me in a very personal way the kind of joy experienced while living in His presence.  This “earnest of the Spirit” was only a small taste of what lies ahead for me as I am faithful to Him.

Still Believing and Living as a Disciple of Christ: Life in Between Spiritual Experiences

I have had other powerful spiritual experiences in my life, but none as deep and to the magnitude of this one time event. I believe these occasions are rare because my faith expands as I have the opportunity to make decisions in accordance with the knowledge God has already given me.  Discipleship takes work, but work where the pay off from God (grace) is far greater than any investment on my part. I daily come to know God as I, with gratitude, remember, remember, remember and choose to live His commandments. What About You?

Do you know God?  Do you want to better know Him?  What kind of work are you willing to do so He will pour out His grace in answer? Are you willing to seek with real intent, meaning live according to the answer He gives?  Are you willing to sincerely exercise faith in Christ, even if your faith is only the desire to have faith? What sins are you willing to give up to better know Him? When I employ my self honesty, I realize that though I know He is real and His Son offers an escape from my current sins, there is much I still need to change in order to receive a greater portion of grace and know Him better.  I have learned that God wants most for me to offer Him my sins, my heart and my mind. In return He is making of me something far better than I could ever do on my own.  That is why I continue to trust Him as a disciple and continue to “pay the price” to increase in His confidence. Whatever it is that I am holding on to, it is worth giving up to better know God. What about you?

Past posts:

Mormons and Sex: Living the Law of Chastity

Mormon Underwear: A Constant Personal Reminder to Remember Jesus Christ and to Keep His Commandments

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Upcoming posts:

A Mormon Perspective of George Washington and the American Founding

Baptisms for the Dead, The Gospel of Jesus Christ, Life after death, Heaven/Hell, neither or both?

Mormons, Marriage, Motherhood and Prop 8

Mormon Missions: “Do Mormons serve missions to earn their way into heaven?”

Are Mormons Christian? The “Real Jesus”, Grace and Works

Tags: baptism of fire, Book of Mormon, born again, change of heart, faith, Moroni's promise, personal revelation

Faithful Mormons think differently than the current public. The world views living God’s guidelines, which are called commandments, as someone telling them they can’t do something or they have to do it. Faithful Mormons live these guidelines because by faith they see the opportunity to be schooled by God in how to draw closer to Him. As a result, when faithful Mormons properly wear the special underclothes associated with the endowment ceremony in the Temple it draws them closer to God.

The public also often views “Mormon Temples” as secret and exclusive places because a person must be a baptized member of the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints and currently be living the commandments to enter. Plus, members do not talk about the specifics of Temple ordinances outside of the Temple. However, Temples are not secret, but sacred and Mormons want everyone to prepare themselves by baptism and commandment keeping to be able to worship there. It is literally the House of the Lord.

“So, what is done in a Mormon Temple ceremony? What is this Mormon underwear all about?”

In an endowment ceremony Church members strengthen their commitment made at baptism to keep the commandments. At baptism, Mormons promise to “mourn with those that mourn” and to “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places” (Mosiah 18:8-10).

The practice of baptism as an ordinance was given to Adam and Eve as part of the process to overcome their fallen state. They first were instructed to repent and believe in Jesus Christ, be baptized and they would receive the Holy Ghost” (Moses 6:57-61).  God is consistent with His formula of overcoming the Fall, therefore in our time we too exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, are baptized and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost as the first steps to overcoming our fallen state.

As the Lord prepared Adam and Eve to exit the comfort of the Garden of Eden and enter the challenges of the world, He made “coats of skins” as a covering for them (Genesis 3:21). Where did the coats come from? They likely came from a lamb that was offered as a sacrifice that Adam would later learn symbolized the Savior (Moses 5:4-8).  Any time that God has had His gospel in its fullness on the earth, He has introduced wearing the garment among His people.

In the endowment ceremony held only in the Temple, members strengthen their promises made at baptism and are symbolically clothed in the garment as a constant reminder to them to keep their promises or covenants.

Then, during the weekly Church Sunday services held in chapels, members renew their promises made with God by taking the Sacrament or “Lord’s Supper.” By doing so members “witness” unto God “that they are willing to take upon them the name of [Christ], and always remember him and keep his commandments” (Doctrine and Covenants 20:7).

What!?! Always remember Him? How is that done in the daily grind? God is a Master teacher. He designed the garment as a very personal reminder to help His children remember, remember, remember the two way covenants they have made with Him. God is perfect and faithful in keeping His end of a covenant (Alma 37:17).  His children need help keeping their end. He designed the garment to be a help.

Specs and Guidelines for Faithful Members in Wearing the Garment

Guidelines for wearing the garment are best explained in “The Temple Garment: An Outward Expression of An Inward commitment”

• The garment is a sacred reminder of Jesus Christ and the covenant to live His commandments. Treat them as such.
  • Pictures of the garment on the Internet (or other mistreatment) are extremely offensive to members who understand its sacred purpose.
• Avoid placing it in a position where it can be mocked. It is sacred.
• Keep it covered.
• Wearing it properly fosters modesty.
• The tops have short sleeves and the bottoms fall a little above the knee.
• It should not be cut or altered to follow the fashions of the world.
• When worn faithfully and properly, it will be a shield and a protection.
• It should be worn night and day.  In activities where the garment cannot be worn, like in swimming or athletics, it should be restored quickly instead of lounging around without wearing them. We should look for occasions to wear it, not to take it off.
• It is associated with the endowment ceremony (“Mormon Temple Ceremony”), which members receive when going on missions, getting married or when they consider themselves spiritually prepared to strengthen their commitment to the Lord they made at baptism.

My personal practice

Preparing since my youth. The standards of modesty in dress for the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints stem from the coverage established by the garment. As a teenager, my shirts always had sleeves and the hem of my shorts fell closer to my knees than my hip sockets. I even designed my own prom dresses and had them made because it was practically impossible at the time to find modest prom dresses that were not the epitome of frumpiness. As a teenager, my early commitment to modesty taught me to put the Lord first before the changing trends of the world. It probably benefited my heart more than it benefited anyone’s eyes. I didn’t have to change how I dressed when I received my endowment (which was at 21 years old) and started wearing the garment. I was looking forward to making the covenant and having to change my modesty standard would have distracted me from the significance of the promise I was making. I’m glad I took the time to prepare.

Rockin’ the modest fashions Modesty excludes lots of fashion trends, but Mormons don’t have to dress like the Amish, thank heavens. A lot can be accomplished by layering. Whoever came up with the business model for Downeast and Shade are now making bank. These companies began with shirts that can be worn under spaghetti strap shirts and the like. I especially like wearing these kinds of shirts even if you can not see them because I like to smooth over the line between my low-rise jeans and the waistline of the garment bottoms, which falls a little above. I also like to rock the midcalf bottoms when I wear leggings or certain kinds of jeans so I don’t have a line at my thigh.

A faithful Mormon would choose wearing the garment properly even one day over not wearing it (though not wearing it during swimming or athletics is appropriate). For example, a friend of my sister’s asked her to be a bride’s maid, but the chosen dresses were strapless. If the bride was set on having all her bride’s maids wear exactly the same strapless thing my sister would have declined the invitation. Gratefully, my sister and the bride were friends and the bride knew how important it was to my sister, so she had a little jacket to go with the strapless dress and if you ask me, she was the hottest of all the bride’s maids, but I might be bias.:)

Shield and Protection I’ve heard stories about how the garment has been a shield and protection to faithful members when they needed it. I usually accept them as folklore, such as burn victims who received no damage where the garment covered them. Though I do not count these as impossible, I don’t wear the garment properly because of these rumors. However, I have heard from a more credible source, my Dad, that before he was a member and knew anything about the garment, he was logging with a man who faithfully wore it. This man got his chainsaw stuck in a tree and when he pulled it out, it kicked back and sawed through his chaps, but the fabric from his garment got caught in the chain and it cut the chainsaw’s engine. My Dad, characteristically aware of his safety tells the story as he thought, “I have to get me some of those.” J Now my Dad understands the much deeper significance of wearing the garment than viewing it as chainsaw protection.

While at Brigham Young University for college, I frequently went canyoneering in Zion National Park, which I consider the closest place to God on the earth apart from the Temple. My roommate, who at the time was not endowed, asked me if I was going to wear the garment on the trip. Pine Creek at that time of year was expected to have several swims and some people were wearing bathing suits under their hiking attire. Since, I was looking for an occasion to wear it, rather than not to, I told her jokingly (but it was one of those jokes that she knew I actually meant) that if I got into trouble in a canyon, I hoped I could cash in on some of my blessings I was storing up from wearing it properly.:) Later trips progressed us to bigger and better canyons including wetsuits where I continued my same attitude and practice.

More than a physical shield and protection,  it is a spiritual one. As I previously discussed the Lord views breaking the Law of Chastity as next to murder on His list of serious sins.  I think of how one would first have to pass the garment, which is a sacred reminder of their promise to keep God’s commandments, including the Law of Chastity, in order to break it.

The locker room

My first two years of college I played on a women’s volleyball team for my school in Florida. I’ve often wondered what I would have done in the locker room if I had been endowed then (I had yet to serve a mission, so I had not yet received my endowment). As a team, we practically spent all of our time together either in the classroom, the weight room or on the court, so we all became friends. In hindsight, if I had been endowed then, I would have talked to each teammate individually about the significance of the garment and if there was a complete consensus of respect from everyone and I didn’t feel like I would be putting it in a position to be mocked, I would have been fine with changing with the group. However, the locker room at the gym I attend now is a different story. I only see those people in the locker room. Sometimes they are the same people, but since I’m quite modest, I try to give others as much privacy as possible and try not to even look in their direction. It doesn’t exactly foster friendship. Since we’re not close and since I have no inclination to break the ice with a first hand lesson in religious diversity, I just change in the stall.

“So like that’s kind of weird.”

American cultural ideas of what underwear should look like (and how we should look in it) mostly comes from Victoria Secret marketing and similar sources. Covenanted and faithful Mormons wear underwear day and night that acts as a special reminder to always remember Jesus Christ and to keep His commandments and well, that’s not ordinary. It’s quite extraordinary, actually. God began instituting the wearing of the garment with Adam and Eve and He has reintroduced it in every time period the gospel has been on the earth in full, including the present. I sincerely love what wearing the garment does for me. It changes my heart every time, which is all the time, I remember its significance and it draws me closer to the Lord. I consider it a privilege.

Why Mormons Build Temples

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Tags: Mormon endowment, Mormon Temple, Mormon Temple Ceremony, Mormon Underwear

Preface and Purpose

About a year ago a friend of mine who knew I was Mormon asked me about the final book of  Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series. She pointed out that Meyer was Mormon and that (spoiler alert) Bella has a daughter with Edward.  “They’re married,” was my response.  I found the question curious and was slightly frustrated when an interruption prevented us from talking further. I suspected that my friend wasn’t sure if Mormons believed in or practiced sexuality.

Sometimes people say outrageous things for the shock factor and I’m not going for that with addressing this topic.  However, I do frequently purposefully push myself to exercise courage.  If I think something is right or I should do something, I weigh it and once I make the decision, I then jump in with both feet. My purpose with this blog is to discuss topics that would be very difficult to ask someone in person.  Sexuality, especially when someone feels it is a sacred topic as Mormons do, isn’t exactly broached easily or if it is easily addressed, it probably is done disrespectfully.  However, I know the Lord feels strongly about His “Law of Chastity.”   I know that because when I was a full time missionary and authorized by Jesus Christ to call God’s children to repentance, I felt the Spirit of God move through me the most powerfully when we were teaching this law. I no longer have that authorization to call others to repentance as full time missionaries do, but I can share the doctrine and my personal practice of it. With that as an introduction, let’s jump in with both feet, shall we?

The Doctrine

The best I’ve ever read the “Law of Chastity” taught was by the then president of Brigham Young University. I recommend his talk which is addressing those in the Church, “Of Souls, Symbols and Sacraments.”

Mormons live the “Law of Chastity” which is to only have sexual relations with a legally and lawfully married spouse.  That translates to complete abstinence before marriage and complete fidelity in marriage.  This doctrine’s roots predate the creation of the Earth.  Mormons believe that each person who has lived, lives or ever will live on this Earth first received life as God’s spirit child before coming to Earth (Abraham 3:22-28). Life’s purpose is to gain a body, which will be resurrected regardless of merit (John 5:28-29) because Christ was resurrected (1 Corinthians 15:21-23) and to “prove” ourselves or in other words of our own free will, choose to love God and accept the power offered by His Son, receive His grace by a lifetime of obedience and be changed into a holy creature. (2 Corinthians 5:17). (I plan on blogging about the Mormon belief of grace and works. In a nutshell we exist by the grace of God and we receive a greater portion of His grace as we use our free will to obey God’s commandments.) We show God we love Him by keeping His commandments (John 14:15). He then blesses us with His grace or His Spirit and we come to know Him and become like Him (John 17:3) (Matthew 5:48).

For some reason, God designed sexuality to be what brings His spirit children out of their “first estate” (see Abraham 3:22-28) into the mortal world. What a beautiful gift! It brings spouses closer together and also brings children into the world. Mormons tend to have large families because they want to provide loving homes of faith for Heavenly Father’s spirit children waiting in the Pre-Mortal Existence for their turn in mortality.  Church counsel with regards to birth control is it is between the husband, the wife and the Lord and couples should honestly evaluate their motivations when choosing to postpone having children.

Breaking the Law of Chastity An ancient American prophet who lived about 73 B.C. learned that his son lusted after a “harlot” and broke this law.  With grief, he asked his son, “Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood and denying the Holy Ghost? (Alma 39:5) What!?! Sex outside of marriage on God’s list of serious sins is right next to murder?  Absolutely. Why? He’s most concerned with how His spirit children come into the world and how they must leave the world.

How far can Mormons Go Before Marriage? Mormons can do whatever they choose.  God designed mortality to be an environment where opposites exist and His children can “choose liberty” through Christ or “choose captivity” through the devil (2 Nephi 2:27). How far should Mormons go before Marriage?  Mormons believe in modern day Apostles and Prophets. Mormons view these leaders just like Moses or Paul are giving them counsel.  The explicit direction for unmarried Mormons and the law of chastity is the following:

“The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.

When you obey God’s commandments to be sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the Temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of a loving family. You protect yourself from emotional damage that always comes from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage.

Do not have sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Satan may tempt you to rationalize that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable when two people are in love.  That is not true…Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.”

Living the Law of Chastity while not married for Mormons can be viewed like fasting.  They avoid the temptation as much as possible until the time is appropriate to break the fast, which would be at marriage. (This should not be indented, but the technology isn’t working with me.)

Let’s Get Personal: Keeping My Thoughts Clean

When it comes to my own personal practice of the Law of Chastity, I believe it begins in my thoughts.  It is not a sin to be tempted. It’s a natural product of my mortality, but it is a sin for me to invite the thoughts to stay and relish in their message. In a revelation to given to a modern Prophet, Joseph Smith, the Lord commanded to “let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly” and the promise He offers for doing this is “then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God…” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45). I want to remain transparent before the Lord so I can remain in His confidence.  I know He can read my thoughts and the only way I can wipe them away so He forgets  them is by my repentance (Doctrine & Covenants 58:42).  For the past 12 years, I have been training my brain and now I’m pleased that I act out of reflex that when I receive a thought of a sexual nature, I immediately dismiss it and ask the Lord to forgive me and give me the strength to keep my thoughts clean.  Sometimes it is harder than others depending on my environment, but I have felt the strengthening power that comes from the Source of all goodness when I have petitioned Him for it. He is quick to answer prayers when we are quick to be obedient.  I have been blessed for it.  I prefer to be more like Joseph of Egypt than David of Israel.  When Potiphar’s wife desired Joseph, he quickly fled (Genesis 39:7-14).  When David happened upon Bathsheba bathing, he chose to linger.  This led to acting upon his thoughts, committing adultery, which then led him to commit murder (2 Samuel 11).

Since We’re Getting Personal: Chastity While Dating

I should preface this section saying I am not a hopeless romantic.  I believe that my ideas of love have been tainted by Hollywood and Disney, so perhaps I overcompensate to a “realistic” view to fault. That’s why this man was so out of the ordinary.  I met him once upon a time and the more I learned about his character, the more I trusted him and felt safe on multiple levels.  When we were in a room full of people and he would wink at me, I felt like we had a secret that nobody  else knew and if we tried to explain it, no one could understand.  Being fiercely independent, I was fascinated with feeling the motivation to take care of someone else before myself. The anticipation to see him again was like when I was a kid waiting for December the 25th and finally seeing his face was like Christmas morning. When he reached out for my hand, it was like he was reaching for my heart and when he held me like he didn’t want to let me go, it felt like coming home. Long doorstep scenes could possibly be what makes the emotional roller coaster of dating worth it.  After almost a year or so, depending on how you count, this man told me that I was not the girl for him.  That’s the way the dating game goes.  Once that is decided and clearly communicated you shake hands, appreciate the good plays, try to analyze when and how you dropped the ball and then move on to other worthy opponents. (And when your stats are the inverse of batting 1000, you’re quite prepared for the disappointment.)

But now that I’m putting this in context of living the law of chastity, what if neither of us were committed to living it?  What if we followed the commonly accepted customs of sexuality in our present society? When I found him delicious, what if I didn’t put on the brakes? What if we didn’t have long doorstep scenes, but rushed and inattentive farewells as we both went to work the next morning, he to serve ”the man,” who was “a jealous mistress” and unable (or unwilling actually) to give me another thought?  I was moved to give of myself and it ended up that he didn’t want any part of me, let alone all I had to give.  How devastating that would have been.  It would have destroyed all that is good about me and left me bitter and broken. Self gratification outside the bonds of marriage is inherently selfish.  It would not have been about giving, but of getting and would have carved a deficit in my soul that only the Savior with His infinite bank could replenish.

Love: The Ultimate Deterrent for Sin

Why do I live the Law of Chastity?  I see that God in His wisdom wants His children coming in and out of the world in the best circumstances possible and that I’m avoiding emotional demolition and the risk of disease, but I live the Law of Chastity because I love Jesus Christ.  I know that during His Atonement, He took upon Himself the sins of all mankind including my own.  The very thought of Him in His purity taking up the guilt for my sins, especially the idea of my potential selfish sexual gratification, makes me cringe. I wish I had words to communicate how the thought makes me taste imaginary bile. Like Joseph, I want to preemptively flee from anything that may have caused Christ to be defiled.  I love Him with a deeper love that I can express and that is why I, as a Mormon, live the Law of Chastity.

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Tags: chastity, Mormons and marriage, Mormons and Sex, sexual thoughts