Gratitude and a Dating Tip

Feb 10, 2012 by

My pregnant friend and I were recently standing at an event that took over an hour. While our ride was fellowshipping with some friends, she finally concluded that she was tired. She’d met her threshold for standing as a pregnant woman and wanted to wait for our friend in the car. She’s a kind and strong sort of woman. She wasn’t put out about the delay. She was just expressing her needs. I walked to the car with her. I wasn’t tired, I just preferred her company to anyone else around.

As we were walking she said she didn’t want to ever complain about her pregnancy. She and her husband have been wanting a baby for over six years and it was only just now they were expecting. She said she wasn’t ever jealous of other women when they would announce pregnancies. She was sincerely happy for them, but it did bother her when women would complain about being pregnant. She said that she would do anything to feel a baby inside her and would never complain about the physical ailments that went along with it.

I really like this friend. No, make that I really love this friend. She’s a tremendous overall person and I’m inspired to be better just by her company. She reminded me about living with gratitude.

I am mindful everyday of living with gratitude and it makes my life happy and content. It’s no exaggeration. I really make a conscious effort everyday. I have a similar feeling as this friend, only it’s not about being pregnant, it’s about being married.  (My Mormon mode of thinking keeps me on a path of ordering marriage before babies.)

I’m honestly not ever jealous when people announce engagements and eventually follow through with the decision. I’m sincerely so happy about it. It’s a miracle to my mind that people even get married these days, so I’m happy someone is carrying on the existence of the institution. But, it bothers me like nothing else when I hear my friends or family members complaining about their husbands. It usually runs along the lines of being too tired to go out on a weekend or not taking out the trash as expected. I try hard not to get huffy about it, but it’s a trigger for me. If I had a husband like theirs, someone I loved who loved me back, who was too busy doing good things in their lives to complete everything that is expected of them, I’d be grateful for it. I wouldn’t be put out about taking out the trash myself. It’s the Mormon dream to live a happy family life and they get to live it.

This probably makes my stock as a girlfriend go up, just sayin’.

(Image from this Pinterest pin)

 

Along the lines of trying to achieve that greatest of personal successes, a happy family life, here’s my dating tip for those extending invitations, men or women. When someone asks “What are you doing on Friday night?” I’m not really sure how to answer it. Do you really want to know? If you’re asking on Wednesday, I typically already have plans. It’s best just to extend an invitation and let the invitee decide if they’re willing to readjust their plans. And it’s helpful as the inviter to pause a little bit after a person says they have a prior commitment. If they want to go out with you, they’d usually suggest an alternative time they’re available. If they’re glad they have previously arranged plans to escape directly declining your invitation, they wouldn’t suggest another time.

Just trying to help that marriage institution continue. You’re welcome. :)

2 Comments

  1. Kim bell

    Like what you have to say, great writing..Tha said you mentioned girls asking guys and guys asking girls out…When did this become the norm in our church..It really is not a very good thing..Girls should not be asking out guys..Makes men lazy and more resistant to commitment..If all girls in the church would stop doing this you all might see a blessed change in a large portion of the young men in the church…Just saying

  2. MollyMormon

    Hi Kim, thanks for dropping in. I generally think if a man likes a woman, he does something about it. With that said, what if someone I’m interested in getting to know would like me, but they don’t know it yet because they hardly know me? I go to lots of events where I’m allowed to bring a guest. It seems silly not to have that guest be a man because I’m not supposed to ask them. I actually think it’s a great opportunity. If a man is really looking to get married, he’d probably appreciate receiving an invite from a woman that he could be interested in getting to know.

    As far as women extending invites causing laziness in men or resistent to commitment, I doubt women asking out men is the cause of this. If a guy is lazy, it’s pretty obvious and I wouldn’t be inviting him to do anything with me anyway. I’m just not interested.

    All in all, most men I know in the Church in the DC area are wanting to progress to marriage but with so many people viewing them as lazy or unmanly, it causes doubt and leads to paralysis. Your view is a common one among married people in the Church, but it’s not so accurate of at least my demographic.

    Here’s a post I wrote a long time ago asking whether women could ask out men and it work out http://mormoninsider.com/834/can-women-ask-out-men-and-it-work-out

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