“Modern Love? The full time mission is for acquiring and sharing Christ-like love of the nonromantic variety.  You knew that when you volunteered and agreed to pay your own way.”

“All I Wanted Was a Hug,” was the title of the New York Times Modern Love article that had my eyes rolling back into their sockets. The writer’s point was that as a full time missionary for Christ’s restored gospel in Taiwan, she felt isolated and misunderstood and would have found solace in the arms of her favorite male missionary, but the unjust “system,” as she called it, forbade it. I was really annoyed with this most recent “expose” of Mormon Missions because it completely missed the point.  There seems to be a great deal of attention on what missionaries can’t do. But “the system” or the guidelines for operating missions around the world is designed to enable the missionaries to focus as much as possible on their purpose, which is to “Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end” (Preach My Gospel, p 1).

As a result of placing my heart, hopes, thoughts and determination in fulfilling this purpose as a full time missionary myself,  I was able to experience heightened spiritual power.  The Holy Ghost moved through me in a way I could not have anticipated.  To cheapen it with a pop culture comparison, it was like becoming a Yoda in terms of attunement with “the force.” All around me, I could understand and feel how “all things denote there is a God” (Alma 30:44) and as I drew closer to Christ, I felt a new and deepened grief for the enslavement of sin on mankind.  There were times when the Holy Ghost pressed so heavily, but gently on my mind and heart that I knew with clarity the specific message the Lord wanted me to say to one of His children. Then, I would use my own words to convey God’s words. What an incredible privilege.

If I wasn’t praying in my heart, I was testifying of God’s goodness or talking with my partner, called a “companion,” about some gospel principle or visiting someone with the purpose of lifting them up and drawing them closer to Christ. In short, so what if I had to put my personal romantic pursuits on hold?  Now that I’m in full swing in that season of my life, it occupies more of my prime thinking time than would be ideal for me. (I’d really like to make  it a priority without it sucking up valuable brain-space. Is that possible?)  If I was thinking about seeking male affection, it would have undermined my ability to give so much of my mind and heart to the benefit of others and I would have missed out on the heaven-meets-earth experience of becoming an instrument in the hand of God as I did. I wouldn’t have been able to receive the message over the thoughts of “Does he like me? So, when he said this to me, did he mean this or this…Am I reading too much into this?  He mentioned his ex girlfriend. Is he not over her?..This missionary wardrobe is not exactly catch-a-man attire…” And a thousand other fluffy and unimportant thoughts that go along with the dating process. Receiving revelation from God, takes mastery of the mind and heart and offering both to God with dedicated and consistent effort. After a space of work and then during more work, He then pours out His grace.  Giving up “Modern Love” for a brief time is a wise part of “the system” for sharing the gospel when young missionaries are still learning how to speak the language of the Spirit.

For 18 months, as a full time missionary, I did not date, I talked to my family on the phone twice a year and wrote home once a week, I didn’t read the news or consume any other media, I slept from 10:30pm to 6:30 am where I would then exercise, shower, dress, study the scriptures personally for one hour, and then with my companion for one hour. Then we went out into the world 24/7 from 10 am to 9 pm (with an hour for lunch and an hour for dinner) to share the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  As a result of this work, focus and turning my mind and heart over to God as much as I possibly could, He blessed me with a greater portion of His grace. I developed an impulse for charity and compassion that I still maintain now.

I knew I was giving up affection from the men-folk in order to give everything to the purpose of bringing others unto Christ. Every missionary knows that. The temporary delay was worth it to teach me the level of spirituality that is possible to be attained in this life. Now my struggle is still enjoying that degree of the companionship of the Holy Ghost while I have life’s distractions of making a living, dating and suffering the bombardment of the images of the world that missionaries can escape thanks to “the system.”

The Grinch’s Heart Grew 3 Sizes Over Many Days. The Reformation of My Compassion

As a missionary,  I corresponded with Heavenly Father in many sincere prayers to fill me with His love (charity),  which He bestows upon all who are true followers of His Son Jesus Christ (Moroni 7:48).  He definitely answered those prayers in a difficult, but wonderful way. When we pray for blessings, God provides us with the opportunity to grow so we can receive the blessing.  This includes making us aware of our weaknesses so we can fix them with His help, enabled by His grace.

I trace the beginning of this particular weakness to seventh grade, though I suspect my personality traits, which I possessed even in the premortal existence, also contribute. Middle School was horrible for everyone, wasn’t it? It was definitely horrible for me. My parents almost divorced when I was in seventh grade and I was not emotionally mature enough to assess the situation and draw anything good out of it.  I was frustrated, very angry and embarrassed that everyone knew. (In my mind they did anyway, couldn’t they see the neon sign hanging over me?) I was also scared of the life ahead where I was going to have to choose which parent to live with.

The way I ended up handling it was becoming emotionally unavailable. That’s right, I decided not to feel.  I’d already sowed the seeds for this the previous year when my young aunt died in a tragic car accident and to deal with the pain I decided not to feel. I remember my mindset at her funeral as I prevented any tears. But the sad part is by choosing to cope in this way, I robbed myself of loving deeply for my latter growing up years.  I would still get excited over volleyball and softball games, but I wouldn’t tell my family I loved them and if anyone wanted to get close to me, it was usually after their effort and patience, not mine. (Poor guys who dated me in my early college days. Can you say an ice princess?)  I used to admire how compassionate my Mom was and wondered how that virtue missed me. I had no idea I lacked compassion because of my own choice.

Then I became a missionary.  As I was praying to receive charity, the pure love of Christ, for all of God’s children, I started to receive it. Only it was painful.  Years of blocking off my heart made it difficult to feel love so deeply. When people would listen to our message for a time and then ask us never to come back because they were afraid of what the neighbors would think if they “became Mormon,” it cut me deeply.  “Shouldn’t they care more about what God thinks?” I would ask myself as I struggled with the grief. They didn’t know what they were rejecting. In a way, I felt a bit of Christ’s disappointment as I was beginning to love as He did. Other experiences deepened my capacity to love, but also sharpened pain’s bitterness.  I wonder how God does it. He perfectly loves with a depth that is unimaginable, which means His capacity to feel pain is horrendously poignant.

As I willingly, received the gift of charity He was extending to me as a result of my sincere and frequent petitions for it, I realized one day I was like Dr. Seuss’ the Grinch:

“And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten*Grinches, plus two!”

The Grinch was learning the meaning of Christmas, but I was learning the meaning of Him whose day Christmas is.  I received from the hand of my God His gifts of charity and compassion as I sought them and found the strength of the merciful God of Israel. As mentioned before, I developed an impulse for charity and compassion that I still now retain. But these gifts have short shelf life.  A quality relationship with God and receiving specific gifts from His hand requires constant nurturing through prayer, scripture study, service, devotion and effort.  I learned these patterns best as a missionary and I apply them in my life now. What a privilege it was to focus 100% on building His kingdom for that special and short time in my life. And with those experiences, I move forward with a life full of blessings, frequently drawing upon and expanding what the Holy Ghost taught me as a missionary.  I have yet to experience “Modern Love” that compares, but I expect that eternal love will.;)

(Learning this was a turning point for me. I now believe emotional health influences our ability to enjoy spirituality or the fruits of the Spirit because God uses the mind and heart to communicate with us (Doctrine & Covenants 8:2-3).  If someone is suffering from depression or hang ups like I had, it may be difficult to feel and understand messages from the Holy Ghost.  Since my full time mission experience, I’ve made great efforts to become emotionally literate and it has greatly influenced my quality of life. I recommend plumbing out your subconscious with the Lord. By doing so, I become transparent before Him and more like His Son as I offer to willingly and  painfully work on my weaknesses by His grace.)

Mormon Missionary Message: Christ’s New Testament Church is Restored

“So, what is it that “Mormon Missionaries” share?” Representatives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints bring a message of full access to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  His gospel is the formula for us to overcome the effects of the Fall of Adam. His gospel includes entering into a covenant relationship with Him to fully receive the blessings of His Atonement, namely faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins by one with God’s authority and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and continuing faithful by living God’s commandments. The crowning ordinance of the gospel of Jesus Christ is for the family to be sealed by His authority in His Holy Temple, so they will continue as a family unit in the next life.

Christ established a Church during His mortal ministry, but it was lost after His ascension into heaven and with the deaths of Peter, the Prophet in Christ’s physical absence, and the Apostles. Some people still continued to believe in Christ and what would become the Bible was eventually canonized over 300 years later, but the actual New Testament Church with living revelation through Apostles and Prophets, pure doctrine and the authority to administer ordinances, which would enter the willing into a covenant relationship with God was no longer on the Earth.  The unique message of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that Christ has restored His New Testament Church to the Earth with correct doctrine, living Prophets and Apostles and the authority to administer ordinances. Other religious practices have elements and different degrees of truth and are preparatory to bring Heavenly Father’s children to Christ’s Church with the authority to perform the ordinances of the gospel and enable Father’s children to enter into a covenant with Him.

During New Testament times, Christ gave the mandate to, “Go ye therefore, teaching all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost (Matthew 28:19). He has given similar direction in our time in His restored Church, hence the “Mormon Missionaries” knocking at your door.

(On Twitter?  I’m interested in following you http://twitter.com/EleeshaT)

Tags: "Mormon Church", missionaries, Mormon Elders, Mormon Missions