I’ve been corresponding with a man who came across this blog and found it beneficial, especially the posts about doubting. I just emailed him a talk I gave in my singles’ ward about six months ago. Now I’m thinking, I’ll just share it more broadly. It’s mega long as far as posts go, but you can take a bathroom break midway.
It’s extremely personal, but faith is personal and I prefer to provide an example of someone working through the development of faith.
Welcome into my head and examples of my dating life.:) (As if you weren’t already there.)
Here are links to previous posts about doubting
Doubting and Wrestling
Doubt: Religion’s 4 Letter Word
Why I’m Not Disillusioned by Sketchy Scriptures
My Current Explanation of Life’s Purpose
I’m just copying and pasting what I wrote for myself to deliver it. I’ll go back and edit it soon. Well, maybe not soon. Maybe sometime.
Talk starts here:
My topic is “A Nation Where the Gospel Can Flourish”
The fullest blessings of the Atonement are only possible through priesthood power. The greatest potential God has in store for us lies in a covenant relationship with Him, which comes through priesthood. I could speak about how the creation of the US Constitution fostered an environment that made possible the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ and priesthood. If this was my direction, I’d be sure to note that America was only the cradle for this work. God’s purpose was to bring all the world access to the full blessings of the Atonement of His Son.
However, I’m going a different direction. I wanted to share some ideas that you could put into practice when you leave Church today. We’re in this nation where the gospel is flourishing, now what? Mormons are starring in politics and on Broadway these days, so people want to know what they believe.
How do you talk about your faith with others who do not share your conviction in the Restoration?
You have GOT to figure out what you will say and how you’ll say it. How do you explain why some Christians don’t accept Latter-day Saints as Christians? How do you explain the garment? These are recurring questions and there are many more. You need to prepare and prepare well. I’m not going to talk about this either, but I invite you to take the approach of simply educating others about what Latter-day Saints actually believe. For ideas, you can go to my blog about LDS beliefs, mormoninsider.com. As you take this educating approach, you’ll help others overcome stereotypes and misconceptions and you’ll have more opportunity to share with those who are sincerely searching to know God.
So what AM I going to talk about? I’m going to talk about how I personally cultivate my faith, including how I respond to doubt. I believe as you think more deeply about why it is you believe, you will be better equipped to talk about it with others. I’ll also talk about how I seek to recognize the Spirit. Because I think it may be a topic of interest to some of you, I’ve chosen dating examples to illustrate what I mean by these two topics.
When I saw the Tony performance of “Just Believe” from the Book of Mormon the Musical I was conflicted. It made me laugh and cringe at the same time.
In a June 27 CNN interview, Richard Bushman who is a Mormon Studies scholar at Claremont and the media’s go-to faithful Latter-day Saint spokesman said the musical is like “looking in a fun house mirror; the reflection is hilarious, but not really you.” I agree with him. What I found most disconcerting was how Elder Price resolves his crisis of faith. He rejects his concerns by repeatedly telling himself to “just believe.” From the song:
I allowed my faith to be shaken. What’s the matter with me? …I must be completely devout, I can’t have even one shred of doubt…I am a Mormon! And a Mormon just believes.
From the Bushman interview:
Specific doctrines aside, the lines that will most distress Mormons in the Price lyrics are the repeated phrase “just believe.”
Poor Elder Price has had his confidence shaken and doesn’t know how to react to his dawning disbelief. All he can do is repeat over and over “just believe.” To prove himself valiant, he must turn off the lights and shut the door on his doubts.
For me “just believing” meant turning the light on, not turning it off. (end of quote)
This was Elder Price’s style of responding to doubts. How do you? Do you have doubts? I do. When I hear people say they don’t have any doubts, I wonder if they’re thinking deeply about their faith. I suspect they’re either not digging deeply enough or they’re at a Brother of Jared level of faith. Maybe there are other options.
Yet, God commanded us not to doubt, “Look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not” (Doc & Cov 6:36), so what’s a girl to do?
Doubt and questioning are different.
Doubt means distrust. Questioning with faith means you trust God or have confidence in Him.
In doubting you reject God until He gives you an answer. By questioning with faith, you trust He will provide , according to His perfect judgment.
Moroni 9:21 “…whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him, and this promise is unto all…”
The most oft repeated invitation in the scriptures is “ask” and is almost always coupled with the promise “and ye shall receive.”
A faithful Latter-day Saint believes in personal revelation. Instead of not thinking of concerns by putting them out of your mind, I invite you to ask God about them, expecting He will help you understand.
One of the leading purposes of the Restoration was to restore an accurate knowledge of the nature of God, namely He is not an essence everywhere and nowhere without parts or passions, but He is a well involved Father who grieves over His children, as Moses chapter 7 shows us. When we better understand who God is, we can begin to trust Him or have faith in Him.
From the third Lecture on Faith speaking of God’s character:
“…unless [we understand the goodness of His character] the faith necessary for salvation could not exist; for doubt would take the place of faith.”
So here’s the first dating example.
After conference, with its emphasis on marriage, I was frustrated. I think this is part of Church culture and not necessarily how Heavenly Father wants us approach it, but there’s this sense that if you’re not married in the Church, it’s because you’re doing something wrong. Once you fix it, then you’ll be able to fulfill the commandment of marriage. There’s another sense that if you’re not married it’s because you don’t value it or you are playing around or too focused on your career or whatever. (As if a promotion at work could kiss you goodnight.)
It turns out, in order for a marriage to happen there has to be two people where both are willing to develop a relationship and make this sacred commitment together. It’s a matter of agency.
After conference, I was reviewing my past dating experiences and wondering if I should have done something differently at one time or another. Because I had this agency focus and because I believe God wants us to gain experience, which often comes through struggles, I felt alone in the process. I began to be resentful toward the Lord that He left me alone when I’ve always done my best to stay close to Him.
During this time, I was praying to know what I should do with this message of marriage from conference.
Then my brother visited with his 3 yr old daughter. As we were hanging out on the Mall after the Natural History museum, she was all over the place spinning around in circles and pulling up grass, hiding behind trees and my brother was letting her play. When she went too far, he’d chase after her and bring her back close to him. She was then free to choose which activity she wanted to do.
I had the thought, which I believe was from the Spirit, that this how God cares for us. He’s not far removed, leaving us alone in our struggles. He lets us choose what we want to do. We can play with the grass or spin around in circles. There are lots of options. But He’s always close by, watching attentively, as any good father would. When He sees we are heading in a direction that could be harmful for us, He comes after us.
It is part of the Restoration that God is our Father and is deeply involved in the lives of His children. When Heavenly Father revealed Himself with Jesus Christ to Joseph Smith, He in part was opening the dispensation to restore the knowledge about Him.
As this thought came to me and I made this connection, I realized my worry and frustration came from doubting God’s character. I did not trust that He was involved in my life and that He would have stopped me from making a poor choice, even though I have always sought the Spirit.
So I changed my mind to align with what the Spirit brought to my attention. He’s well involved and watches attentively over me.
So how I deal with doubt, when I have them?
- I remember past witnesses of the Spirit. Such as the times I have felt and understood by the Spirit that my sins are forgiven through Jesus Christ’s Atonement. And the times I’ve felt that same Spirit through the pages of the Book of Mormon. I remember that Joseph Smith translated that Book of Mormon, which is evidence he was a prophet. And I remember times when the Spirit has witness to me the reality of God as my Father.
- I take this knowledge and put it into practice with faith. In other words I make the decision to trust God.
- I ask for more knowledge by the Spirit with faith.
I invite you to address your doubts with this process.
I must add that after I had this change of mind, which is also known as repentance, I remembered an LDS friend of mine who I greatly admire once told me about a revelation she received. This was when she was single, she’s eternally married now. It was after she diligently questioned with faith to receive a time frame of when she would marry. Would it be sooner or more like when she was 40 or 50 or even in the next life? She’s fantastic, and I’d say, a hard woman to match. I think she intimidated a lot of men. As she told me about it, I recognized that this personal revelation was how she could have such peace and confidence about marriage and dating, even in a culture that seems hyper occupied with it. She could even have this peace when she didn’t have any prospects.
I believed that God would do for me what He had done for her. He’s no respecter of persons. I started questioning with faith for myself on the same topic.
My question was different than hers and I received my own answer.
I testify, as I changed my mind from doubting the Lord, to trusting Him asking Him with faith, I received my own revelation on the topic, personalized for me. Responding to doubt with this approach will give you confidence to move forward with faith. God wants to provide this kind of communication to you, so your faith could increase. And this way, you can break up without going to pieces. In addition to being our well involved Heavenly Father, He is able to arrange introductions between people who will use their agency to choose each other.
I invite you to respond to doubt by directing your mind to the true nature of God and asking Him in faith what you should do to receive the desires of your heart.
Further, you have to be willing to act. You can’t expect this kind of revelation and help if you want God to do your work for you. As Elder Bednar said in his morningside to us:
“Do not pray as objects, ‘Heavenly Father, get me out of here.’ Pray as agents, ‘give me the strength to get out of here.’ There is enabling and strengthening power in the Savior’s Atonement.”
Next part: How do you cultivate this life skill of seeking and receiving revelation?
- I pray meaningfully daily. Sometimes I say a prayer and after amen I think. That was pretty lame, let me start again…
- I daily study the scriptures seeking to learn.
- I come to Church weekly prepared to renew my covenants at the Sacrament to be a witness for Jesus Christ.
- I fast with a purpose.
- I make time to worship in the Temple, though it’s not convenient.
These are typical Sunday School answers, but how many of you take advantage of these tools already provided you?
Further, I frequently turn off the radio and ponder. This makes me more familiar with my own thoughts, so I can better tell the difference between my own thoughts and the Spirit.
If I inundate my mind with words from Keith Urban or Beyonce’s song writers, I miss opportunity for revelation. I’m not saying music is bad, well some music is bad, I’m just saying, consider how much brain space you give to the Spirit.
Some examples in the scriptures of when pondering triggered revelation
- Before Nephi saw the vision of the Tree of Life
- Peter on the rooftop considering how to minister the Jews and take the gospel to the world as the Savior commanded.
- Joseph F. Smith was pondering the Atonement when he received the revelation on the Spirit World.
- Most of the Doctrine and Covenants.
Some thoughts to keep in mind regarding revelation.
- 1. Be mindful of what interpretation you attach to it.
- Elder Bednar in his morningside said, “Revelation comes as a conclusion, not a reason.” I once read an article written by Orson Scott Card where he received a revelation to teach his home teachees about scripture study. He invited them to study as a family at least 15 minutes a day and told him it came by the Spirit. He felt humbled when the father of the family asked, “Why would God want us to cut back so much?” Sometimes when you receive a witness of the Spirit it will require you continue asking to know the interpretation. I could also provide scriptural examples of this.
- 2. Remember the sequence, act first, then the witness comes.
- Have you ever done this. “God, tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’m waiting….”
i. Elder Bednar’s morningside again, “Everything you need to know about revelation is in the sequence. ‘Faith is of action and of power.’ Act first in accordance with the teachings of the Savior. Peter didn’t know he could walk on water. He looked to the Savior [heeding His invitation] and stepped out on the water. Don’t sit on the side of the straight and narrow path revving your engines. Press forward, with steadfast faith in Christ. ”
ii. I most often receive inspiration through the Spirit, after I think of several different ideas or possibilities that can happen. Then I ask for help to make these ideas come to pass. Sometimes it goes a much different direction. We all know the story about the Lord’s chastisement of Oliver Cowdry, “Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me (Doc & Cov 9:7)”
iii. I testify it is when you use your agency to do the best you can that God most often blesses you with revelation.
iv. My current practice is to think about different ideas for a while, for example, when calling counselors or others callings in RS. I think about it for a while. I weigh different possibilities and imagine how it will play out if I made certain decisions. I decide that I think is a really good idea, then I pray about it. I take time to clear my mind. Then I think of the Savior. Then I start praying, ask for help and ask what He thinks about this idea. I pay attention to ideas that come to mind during the prayer and after the prayer, I sit and pay attention to ideas that come. This process gets better as I work at it.
- 3. Have the courage to act on the inspiration
- Last personal dating example
- So after conference when I changed my mind about doubting the Lord, I started asking the Lord in faith my question I mentioned. While I was praying, I had the idea to contact someone I dated a while ago. I was for sure this wasn’t me because there is no way I would have thought of this. I was always more interested in him than he was in me. When we parted, it was with a bad misunderstanding. As a general practice, I think it’s better to ask and get a no answer than to never ask and it could be a yes. No regrets, right? A “no” hurts my ego, but the possibility of a yes is more motivating to me than nurturing my ego. So after this misunderstanding, I re-approached him. We resolved the misunderstanding, but his answer was clearly no.
- Game over. End of story. So when I had this idea, which I thought was inspiration, I didn’t expect anything to have changed.
- When I got this idea while in the act of prayer, I thought, “Are you sure?”
- It took a lot of courage, but again, I outreached to him. It was terribly embarrassing to say, I know we were clear on this, just checking to see if anything’s changed. The answer was still no.
i. I really feel like it was the Spirit, not me. I have a few ideas of why that happened, they all have to do with my own growth, rather than that relationship working out. The revelation I mentioned previously came to me only after I acted on this inspiration. Maybe the Lord was providing an opportunity for me to have the courage to act on revelation, even when it is difficult, so I can exercise the kind of faith that generates meaningful revelation. It was worth the embarrassment.
The Lord needs you to cultivate the life skill of receiving revelation. The more I respond to doubt with an increase in faith, the more often I recognize communication by the Spirit. If the last time you can remember receiving revelation was on your full time mission, or at EFY or at your baptism, I invite you to take the next steps to increase in faith. I was purposeful in using examples I’ve experienced since the last General Conference.
I will also add, these have been examples that apply to me, but I have found that revelation more often comes when I’m seeking to bless others rather than thinking of myself. Look more outwardly and a general by-product is you get help along the way too.
So in conclusion, this talk about how to respond to doubt, it wasn’t about dating. I hope my dating examples didn’t distract from the greater message of trusting God based on knowledge you have received from the Holy Ghost. I invite you to apply this principle in every aspect of your life.
How do you respond to doubt?
Instead of being like Elder Price, and mentally shutting down when concerns hit the scene, take an approach that aligns with the teachings of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
- Remember the past witnesses of the Spirit, especially with regards to the Savior and the Book of Mormon and the true nature of God.
- Make the decision to trust.
- Ask God in faith about your concerns, expecting He will answer you.
Our Heavenly Father is watchful and attentive and well involved in the lives of His children. He’s anxious to bless you with more than you now have. “Don’t sit on the side of the straight and narrow path revving your engines. Press forward, with steadfast faith in Christ. ”
Respond to doubt, when it is sure to come, as a Latter-day Saint who believes in a key doctrine of the Restoration, personal revelation.
Move forward with faith. May God bless you in your efforts. I witness to you He will.































