Remember my shameless bait to draw out insights from the  tremendous reservoir of Internet users?

No?

For the month of March, I offered a $10 gift card each to the top 3 MormonInsider visitors willing to both share posts with others and share their perspectives on the posts.

We can call these people top sharers. Everyone loves someone who shares good things.

Thanks to Elisabeth for sharing a specific example of the difficulty navigating the difference between being meek and being a pushover at “Blessed are the [pushovers] for they shall in inherit the earth“?

Thanks to Paul for sharing his satire, revealing the sometimes unacknowledged ridiculousness of gender expectations at “Can Women Ask Out Men and it Work Out?”

Thanks to Afton for frequently sharing, especially for her perspective in “Do I Need a Man? A Woman with Needs or a Needy Woman?” I’m glad she added the insight about how fulfillment in life and in dating has more to do with how much you give of yourself, rather than looking for others to fulfill our needs.  I like how she looked to Christ to support her point.

A special thanks goes to Anonymous on “Modern Apostle’s Message: Question Your Guts Out.” She responded to the following instruction by Elder Bednar:

“Girls, if you’re getting serious with someone, you should ask, ‘Have you ever been involved with pornography?’ If the answer is no ask, ‘What do you do to protect yourself?’ If he is bothered by you asking the question, then you know the answer.”

She described how only after she was married to her man who served a 2 year mission for Christ did she learn of his pornography addiction.  She wished she had been more probing prior to getting married. Her description of how this has affected her life is as follows:

“I hope that all who are preparing for marriage are aware of the plague that pornography is in the world. It can happen to you or anyone. It hurts families. It has hurt mine. Through a lot of work on the part of my husband and I, and because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, we are slowly becoming free from that pain.”

I’m so glad she was willing to share.

My Sharing Philosophy

When I was high school aged, I saw the world in terms of black and white. There was a right and a wrong. Now that I’ve grown quite a bit, I’ve come to appreciate the world more in terms of a broad spectrum of colors. When I come up with some ideas, I usually consider it a first draft. I usually don’t see my opinion as the ultimate right way that everyone else should buy into. The possibility for more colors is endless.  I appreciate the synergy that comes through people sharing their ideas. Then, may the best idea win (and everyone’s a winner for contributing to the process).

I don’t take it personally if someone sees the world differently than I do.  I actually think it’s pretty cool.  I want to know their view, whether it is like mine, slightly different or completely antithetical.  Further, in the description of myself for this blog, I wrote:

“I find politely straight-forward, secure people refreshing.”

I like people who are willing to seek truth and have the courage to be wrong or be perceived as being wrong.  Being forthcoming inspires trust, at least in me.  I’d prefer to know what people really think and feel. Then I get a sense of their authenticity and not a mask. What you’ve got is good, why hide it?

With this whole movement away from a black/white world view, I must say I do believe there is absolute truth. The reality of God’s nature is a truth, including His desire for His children to live His commandments. But, because God is so deep, there’s so much that can be known of the possibilities under the guidance of His commandments. Just because we receive an initial assurance of His existence, doesn’t mean that’s the final page of the story. I believe that in sharing our views with each other, we can be catalysts to pondering, which invites the Holy Spirit to work in us and teach us more of Him.

Some people are afraid of questioning, especially their faith. In the same description, I wrote of myself:

“My opinions are in constant flux, so I welcome new information that rocks my world.  I believe God wants us to constantly question. The difference between doubting and questioning is whether I choose to reject God until He gives me an answer or if I choose to continue to trust Him, believing I will receive a better understanding and an added measure of peace.”

I have found that as I  increase in my confidence in the Lord, I become more open to the views of others because I feel better equipped to discern between truth and error. Latter-day Saints (Mormons) are seekers of truth. May all of us, in the Church and out, be openly willing to share our views so we can be catalysts to obtain  increased amounts of truth by the Spirit.

With this open invitation, I must say I remain MormonInsider’s benevolent dictator who governs by republican principles.  I will not practice viewpoint discrimination, but maliciousness has no place in my kingdom.

Keep sharing! As site traffic steadily gains, more people will be viewing your ideas.  I’ll try to think up things worth responding to.

Image from a free media website.

Tags: blind obedience?, faith in Jesus Christ, fear and faith, God is our loving Heavenly Father, personal revelation, truth seekers

This weekend with some friends I attended a free improv workshop sponsored by Washington Improv Theater.  Our group came up with some good material that led to genuine laughs and I crushed on our cute instructor for the class’ duration.  It was a really enjoyable time.

To prep for our evening o’ fun, I watched this Tina Fey interview.

I really like Tina Fey. She’s very talented and doesn’t seem to be self absorbed.

I found more support for my opinion of her in this interview. In describing her experience with Chicago’s Second City, the mecca of improv theater, she said:

“To be improvising in front of a paid audience, you learn to be fearless, you learn how to fail because you mostly fail. You mostly flop. You’re going to perform over a thousand scenes when you’re there and you’re going to remember those five scenes when it went really well. You learn not to be afraid to fail…”

She’s my kind of girl.:)  There’s a great deal of success in the action of trying, rather than being paralyzed by fear. Who cares if it’s not perfect? Nobody’s perfect, save Christ. Improv wouldn’t be interesting if the performers were perfect, anyway. What would that mean?

This box was in the corner of our improv classroom.

I wonder what that means too.

We are able to access God by stepping out and taking a leap of faith, though it may feel like impending failure. You could offer a thousand prayers and remember those 5 times that the Holy Spirit washed you with peace. Knowing God starts with yourself. It starts with choosing to reach out to Him in a fearless way, even if you have fear.

I asked my friends if they agreed with the box’s spray painted idea.

PB said that you wouldn’t have to be humble if you only looked inside of you. The Atonement shows the great distance between God and ourselves. Reaching outside ourselves to access the Atonement is the only way we overcome our fallen nature.

WT said that when you come to know yourself, you can see the divinity in you as His child and it also causes you to look at others with spiritual eyes as His children.

What do you think of the phrase “I found God in myself”?

(We also walked passed this church marquis.)

Tags: fear and faith, God is our loving Heavenly Father

Happy Valentine’s Day Eve!

This week in my Federalist Papers class at Georgetown University we read James Madison’s iconic first published Federalist essay, number 10.  I read this in college, but I didn’t have the reading skills to appreciate the potency of the message or the poetry of the composition. This time it was riveting.

I unabashedly crush on influential historical figures, especially when I learn more of their humanity. Sanitized iconic statesman towering on the pedestal of what seems like the inevitable march of history does very little for me. However, a bright person who utilizes well their talents and resources, synergizes the ideas of their time to generate an inspiring vision for a better future and has the courage and leadership skills to redirect the yet-to-be-made course of history, affecting millions, even billions of lives? Now that’s hot.

When I was more private about my historical crushing, a friend in college photo-shopped this pic of me with George Washington. When I saw it, I almost suffocated from lack of air because of my insurgent laughter.

Speaking of lack of air, this line in Madison’s paper sparked my mind to the topic of love (and just maybe my crushing on James Madison provided some sort of kindling):

“Liberty is to faction what air is to fire, an aliment without which it instantly expires. But it could not be a less folly to abolish liberty, which is essential to political life, because it nourishes faction than it would be to wish the annihilation of air, which is essential to animal life, because it imparts to fire its destructive agency.”

I thought of love when I read it. Why?  Let’s read it with a few alterations.  I’m sure Madison won’t mind.

“Liberty is to [love] what air is to fire, an aliment without which it instantly expires. But it could not be a less folly to abolish liberty, which is essential to [romance and family] life, because [there's the chance for rejection and heartbreak] than it would be to wish the annihilation of air, which is essential to animal life, because it imparts to fire its destructive agency.”

It is only in the potential chance of rejection that meaningful love can be created. The ability to choose between extending yourself emotionally to someone or withdrawing completely is the air that enables the fire of the human hope to be loved. The choice to invest when you could be indifferent or worse shows the chosen they are special to you. Everyone wants to be loved.  If they say they don’t, it’s only because they’ve lost hope for it or they don’t believe it’s possible.

I came to this opinion by my study of Latter-day Saint scripture. (Well, not the last part, that’s purely my own generalization based on anecdotal experience and lots of chic-flick watching.)  Latter-day Saints (Mormons) believe that Adam’s Fall ushered into the world the existence of opposites and therefore the possibility for human joy. If they stayed in the Garden of Eden, they would have “remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good for they they knew no sin” (2 Nephi 2:22-23). Before entering into this state of existence, Adam and Eve were damned in their ability to love because they lived in a neutral world.  Without the chance for pain, they could not know love.  Their choice to leave the garden enabled them to have children  (v. 23) and it created an environment where love could be created and expanded.  It was a Fall downward, but also forward.

God gives us liberty, so we can choose Him, even though He risks great rejection. It is in this free state we can actually develop love for Him. Many of His children reject Him. Prior to the earth’s flood and Noah building the ark, Enoch saw God weeping. Amazed that the God of Heaven would cry, Enoch acknowledged His creative abilities and divine attributes and asked, “How is it that thou canst weep?” (Moses 7:30-31).  The Lord’s reply cuts me, “And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood” (Moses 7:33).

We are completely free to reject God. God has great joy when He risks rejection with us and we choose to love Him. But, without the risk and our freedom to reject, no love can be created and expanded.  Thanks to Adam and Eve’s choice to leave the Garden of Eden, we live in an existence where we can know how to love God.

Similarly, in our romantic and family relationships when we, like God, risk rejection we are creating a space within ourselves where love can be created and expanded.  Without that vulnerability and potential for heartbreak, we can never know the joy of love in any way that God knows.  I personally believe that the deeper the pain an individual has experienced in life, the deeper their potential to cross the other end of the spectrum and love. “Why me?” someone could ask God or themselves. Perhaps He is allowing experience to enable a deeper access to love. What a tremendous gift.  God really does know what He’s doing.

And, it’s okay to cry when you’re rejected.  God does.  But it’s not okay to allow fear to stop you from taking risks. God doesn’t do that.  That just handicaps your potential to enjoy love more like He does.

Happy Valentines Day, whether this one involves pain or love.

Tags: Fall of Adam, fear and faith, God is our loving Heavenly Father, mormon beliefs, mormon cult, Mormonism, Mormons and marriage, romantic love